Truly Sleepless in Seattle

The end of July crept up on me rather quickly. I felt really unsure of what I was getting myself into, but I was excited all the same. I had just sold my car to a teenage girl who I hoped would give my car a good home. I was also going through some legal things for an alleged hit and run I'd committed. Okay, it's not as serious as it sounds. In Seattle the parking is horrible and people park so close together that you can barely open your door to get out. I had received a notice in the mail from some man's insurance company saying that I had scraped his car while parking in a lot about five months prior and they wanted me to pay damages. Well, I didn't recall this incident since, in my mind,it never happened. When I looked at my car, the scratches on my car didn't match up with the report. Long story short. . .my dad and I contested it for awhile and the problem just disappeared.

I took a little detour off my topic, but back to the preparation for my Peace Corps departure. One of the hardest things I had to do was sell my kitchen table. It was a beautiful, mahogany table with four high bar stools around it. I loved this table from the first time I laid eyes on it and I saved for months and months to buy it. I put it up for sale on Craig's List and it sold quickly for about half what I paid for it. The man who came to buy it was quite handsome and had I not been leaving the country I'm quite sure I would have shamelessly thrown myself at him.

A few weeks before I left for orientation in Miami, I went on a week long vacation with Jesse and his family to Montana. At this point in my life, Jesse and I were not "officially" together, but we might as well have been. We both knew that a long distance relationship was out of the question, and to be quite honest, leaving the country was what I knew I needed in order for me to finally leave this five year rollercoaster of a relationship behind. Nonetheless, the week was filled with bear tours, trips to Glacier National Park, swimming down the river, shooting guns, rope swings, and the most amazing thunder and lightening show I've ever seen. It will always remain with me that that will probably be the last really good memory I have where there is no love lost between Jesse and I.

After returning from Montana I had a farewell party with friends and one of my dearest friends, Lanny, took me out for a night on the town. We went out in style like we always do, dressed to the nines and on the prowl. On the way home I was sitting in the passenger seat thinking about everything I was leaving behind, my friends, my parents, Jesse, Jesse's family, everything. It's also fair to say that I was scared because I have never lived outside Seattle, let alone another country entirely. All of these emotions were flowing through me, (along with the loads of alcohol I had consumed,) and Lanny had played the One Republic song "Apologize" on the radio. I lost it completely. I doubled over in the car bawling my eyes out and boy did it feel good! I was a sniffling snotty mess of runny mascara and boogers but I didn't care. To this day, when I hear that song it transports me to that moment in the car where I finally realized how much I was going to miss my life in Seattle and how unprepared I was for whatever was going to happen next. I realized that if there were ever a time to have faith, this was it. Just close your eyes and jump.