When I joined the Peace Corps I had to have a consultation with the PCMO (Peace Corps Medical Officer,) and without skipping a beat she asked me what I planned to use for contraceptive. "Abstinence," I said. HA! In retrospect I'm thinking that perhaps I should have been insulted by the fact that the PCMO didn't seem to believe me. Without judgement, but with a look on her face that said, "Yah f*ckin right," she said, "Well, just in case. . ." and sent me on my way with a new supply of birth control.
I don't know why, but I really did think I could go 27 months without sex. Granted, not without much frustration and several batteries. For some reason I had this idea in my head that the men here wouldn't interest me or that being in volunteer mode would leave no room for hanky panky. Now, don't get the idea that I'm whoring around down here because I would have to say that quite the opposite is true. Most of the men here have girlfriends, a wife, and/or children. If they tell you they don't have anyone, they're lying. Now, I know this may just sound like a typical girl thing to say, "I hate men, they're all lying dogs." But, truly. . .they ALL have girlfriends. It is as though being single in the Caribbean is a contagious disease that no one wants to catch and for which there is no cure other than to snatch up the first man that tries to mark his territory on you. I figured this out the first few times I was hit on in Grenada, in which I would reply, "No, I don't have a boyfriend and no thanks, I don't want one." Men would sit there puzzled trying to dig into my psyche and figure out what was wrong with me, I mean. . .who takes care of me? And most importantly. . .who do I have sex with? Men would offer to be my boyfriend as though they were offering a free sample of hot pockets at the local Costco. No thanks, I'm full.
Now, with all of this being said I know that there are people in Grenada who have monogamous relationships but no one under the age of 40. I am usually not one to generalize, but men in the Caribbean are not known for their monogamous ways. Don't try to disuade me because it will be a futile effort. I have found this out the hard way a couple of times as I have been "the other woman" on more than one occasion, (unbeknownst to me at the time.) It is also usually the case that just when you may have thought you found one of the only decent, faithful, good men in Grenada; you find out about his girlfriend. I used to think that it was only a matter of time before one of these drunk make out sessions turned into an angry girlfriend coming to deliver a personal "welcome to Grenada" with a swift punch to the face. Yes, an ass whoopin was surely on the way. The more and more time I spend here though, it seems to me that a lot of the women know their men are cheating but as long as they are the girlfriend, they turn the other cheek. Hmm. . .interesting. Who am I to judge? Maybe it works for them? Really it's only a hop, skip, and a jump away from partner swapping, right? And I know that swinging has worked well for many couples. I just hope that while their men are out sowing their wild oats, that the women are doing the same, mind you with protection and discretion.
It is not as though I am blind to the fact that cheating happens everywhere and American society is certainly not the poster child for monogamy, this I know. I suppose the difference here is that people seem to have no shame about it. It is just what the men are expected to do and that is what bothers me. You should at least show you care about the other person's feelings by having the courtesy to lie and hide your affair. Haha. Okay, that was a joke, but really. . .
I don't know why, but I really did think I could go 27 months without sex. Granted, not without much frustration and several batteries. For some reason I had this idea in my head that the men here wouldn't interest me or that being in volunteer mode would leave no room for hanky panky. Now, don't get the idea that I'm whoring around down here because I would have to say that quite the opposite is true. Most of the men here have girlfriends, a wife, and/or children. If they tell you they don't have anyone, they're lying. Now, I know this may just sound like a typical girl thing to say, "I hate men, they're all lying dogs." But, truly. . .they ALL have girlfriends. It is as though being single in the Caribbean is a contagious disease that no one wants to catch and for which there is no cure other than to snatch up the first man that tries to mark his territory on you. I figured this out the first few times I was hit on in Grenada, in which I would reply, "No, I don't have a boyfriend and no thanks, I don't want one." Men would sit there puzzled trying to dig into my psyche and figure out what was wrong with me, I mean. . .who takes care of me? And most importantly. . .who do I have sex with? Men would offer to be my boyfriend as though they were offering a free sample of hot pockets at the local Costco. No thanks, I'm full.
Now, with all of this being said I know that there are people in Grenada who have monogamous relationships but no one under the age of 40. I am usually not one to generalize, but men in the Caribbean are not known for their monogamous ways. Don't try to disuade me because it will be a futile effort. I have found this out the hard way a couple of times as I have been "the other woman" on more than one occasion, (unbeknownst to me at the time.) It is also usually the case that just when you may have thought you found one of the only decent, faithful, good men in Grenada; you find out about his girlfriend. I used to think that it was only a matter of time before one of these drunk make out sessions turned into an angry girlfriend coming to deliver a personal "welcome to Grenada" with a swift punch to the face. Yes, an ass whoopin was surely on the way. The more and more time I spend here though, it seems to me that a lot of the women know their men are cheating but as long as they are the girlfriend, they turn the other cheek. Hmm. . .interesting. Who am I to judge? Maybe it works for them? Really it's only a hop, skip, and a jump away from partner swapping, right? And I know that swinging has worked well for many couples. I just hope that while their men are out sowing their wild oats, that the women are doing the same, mind you with protection and discretion.
It is not as though I am blind to the fact that cheating happens everywhere and American society is certainly not the poster child for monogamy, this I know. I suppose the difference here is that people seem to have no shame about it. It is just what the men are expected to do and that is what bothers me. You should at least show you care about the other person's feelings by having the courtesy to lie and hide your affair. Haha. Okay, that was a joke, but really. . .
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