When I tell people that I am living in the Caribbean working as a Peace Corps volunteer, you would think that their primary interest would be in relation to the work that I do. Wrong! I have found that people want to hear a very brief account of the actual work experience and most of the time they will politely say "mmhmm. . .really?" every few minutes to give the impression that they are, in fact, listening. In actuality I know it is difficult for people relate to my life here and the work that I do, so for those who have faked their interest. . .thank you for trying. I don't hold it against you and when I get back home I will still consider you a friend. What people are willing to sit and listen to, however, are the details of my romantic encounters. Maybe it's because people think of the Caribbean as such a romantic place running wild with half naked, nicely chisled men with accents and dark chocolately complexions. While this is certainly the truth at times, romance and love have been a stranger to me here.
It is quite common that Peace Corps volunteers meet and "date" locals. It is only to be expected since our stay here is substantial enough to foster a real relationship should the volunteer be so lucky. Actually, in my group alone, 9 of the 13 volunteers have all had relationships at one time or another. Three of those have turned into long term relationships, and I have no doubt that one of those three will end in marriage. I wasn't as fortunate, but don't feel sorry for me. I think I was probably my own biggest enemy in finding a happy and healthy relationship. As an American, I am always having to be very cautious about a man's intentions because unfortunately, many of the men here want a "white girl" just for the bragging rights and it is highly likely that one day you'll be woken up at 8:30 in the morning by a phone call from his girlfriend inquiring as to why her boyfriend doesn't come home at his normal time anymore. (Insert nervous laughter here.) Obviously, this is purely hypothetical.
The first week I lived in Sauteurs I introduced myself to a man on the side of the road who sits day after day selling various things. Sometimes roasted corn, sometimes fruits, sometimes local wine, etc. He has a glass eye that is a bit odd to stare into at first, but you get used to it after some time. After two minutes of leisurely conversation he asks if I have a boyfriend, and not knowing any better yet I say, "No." He says, "Can I be your boyfriend?" To which I respond to with overly nervous laughter and I walk away saying, "Alright," which is the common way to end conversations here. But this is not uncommon, men wanting to be your boyfriend, men wanting to know if you need "company." I am used to what Peace Corps calls "unwanted attention," and I fear that upon my return to the United States, I may actually miss it. I mean. . . where else in the world can you come home from a long days work, sweat rolling down every nook and cranny, clothes haven't been washed in weeks, maybe you've packed on a few pounds, and yet. . .there is some man desiring you in all your fat, stinky, dirty glory?
Anyhow, I digress. (Is that how it's spelled?) I have found myself yearning for companionship especially these last few months. At the same time, as I've gotten older, I've also realized how much lonelier it can feel when you fill the void with meaningless encounters in hope of feeling something more. Therefore, I will wait for someone special, someone who deserves all the love that I have to give. So no. . .I have not fallen in love here and that is okay. I think if I had been more open to the possibility earlier in my service there was potential with one man, but I stupidly let that opportunity slip and there is nothing I can do now but wish him well and that is what I will do. No time for regrets. . .
It is quite common that Peace Corps volunteers meet and "date" locals. It is only to be expected since our stay here is substantial enough to foster a real relationship should the volunteer be so lucky. Actually, in my group alone, 9 of the 13 volunteers have all had relationships at one time or another. Three of those have turned into long term relationships, and I have no doubt that one of those three will end in marriage. I wasn't as fortunate, but don't feel sorry for me. I think I was probably my own biggest enemy in finding a happy and healthy relationship. As an American, I am always having to be very cautious about a man's intentions because unfortunately, many of the men here want a "white girl" just for the bragging rights and it is highly likely that one day you'll be woken up at 8:30 in the morning by a phone call from his girlfriend inquiring as to why her boyfriend doesn't come home at his normal time anymore. (Insert nervous laughter here.) Obviously, this is purely hypothetical.
The first week I lived in Sauteurs I introduced myself to a man on the side of the road who sits day after day selling various things. Sometimes roasted corn, sometimes fruits, sometimes local wine, etc. He has a glass eye that is a bit odd to stare into at first, but you get used to it after some time. After two minutes of leisurely conversation he asks if I have a boyfriend, and not knowing any better yet I say, "No." He says, "Can I be your boyfriend?" To which I respond to with overly nervous laughter and I walk away saying, "Alright," which is the common way to end conversations here. But this is not uncommon, men wanting to be your boyfriend, men wanting to know if you need "company." I am used to what Peace Corps calls "unwanted attention," and I fear that upon my return to the United States, I may actually miss it. I mean. . . where else in the world can you come home from a long days work, sweat rolling down every nook and cranny, clothes haven't been washed in weeks, maybe you've packed on a few pounds, and yet. . .there is some man desiring you in all your fat, stinky, dirty glory?
Anyhow, I digress. (Is that how it's spelled?) I have found myself yearning for companionship especially these last few months. At the same time, as I've gotten older, I've also realized how much lonelier it can feel when you fill the void with meaningless encounters in hope of feeling something more. Therefore, I will wait for someone special, someone who deserves all the love that I have to give. So no. . .I have not fallen in love here and that is okay. I think if I had been more open to the possibility earlier in my service there was potential with one man, but I stupidly let that opportunity slip and there is nothing I can do now but wish him well and that is what I will do. No time for regrets. . .
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